Social connection is a lot like the weather - we all talk about it, but no one does anything about it. This newsletter is here to change that: to raise awareness about the importance of connection and create a space for real conversation.

Ashton – the answer is definitely yes. And it is also definitely no. I hope that clears things up. 

It is the case that social networks tend to shrink as we age, and I often hear people say that making friends as they grow older is just more difficult, with the underlying implication that the failure is due to reduced sociable flexibility or interest among older people.  To be fair, there is some emerging science that suggests that changes in brain patterns as we age may inhibit sociability, but I agree with you that any physiological changes are likely more than offset by increases in emotional intelligence, self-assurance, and resiliency. Think of all the great friendships that have sprung up in the second half of life - Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla; Paul McCartney and Johnny Cash; Russell and the old guy in the movie Up — if you need more proof. 

The personal ingredients for friendships may be there, but the structural ones are increasingly more difficult in the second half of life. Friendships require proximity and the things that bring the most people together – school and work – are often diminishing in our 60s, 70s, and beyond. When I have encountered institutions that naturally bring people together in the second half of life – whether those are retirement communities, or multigenerational volunteer organizations, or pickle ball clubs – I have been astonished at the depth and diversity of the friendships that spring from them. 

The problem is that there are a diminishing number of opportunities for connection, proximity, and friendship in the second half of life. Many of the organizations and activities that naturally brought people together – religious organizations, union halls, elks clubs, and a million other things – are in long-term decline, and we have not replaced them with comparable and sufficient opportunities for social connection.  Until we grapple with that problem, more and more people – of all ages – will likely be struggling with the challenges of loneliness.   

Do you have a social connection question for Ken?

This Week in Social Connection

In six months, Ask Ken Jr. will be off to college. It’s a time of adventure, self-discovery, social engagement, and endless fun, if you believe important sociological studies such as Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds, and of course, Monsters University. In truth, it can be all that, but college can also be surprisingly isolating. Away from familiar support systems and navigating new academic and social pressures, students frequently struggle to form meaningful connections. In fact, nearly two-thirds of U.S. college students report feeling lonely, and more than a quarter experience severe psychological distress. Even on bustling campuses, many students say they feel disconnected or lack a true sense of belonging, underscoring a growing gap between being surrounded by peers and feeling genuinely connected. 

Student loneliness is a growing challenge, and universities are implementing a variety of strategies to combat it. This week, it’s Northeastern University’s Wellness Week, which focuses on leaving behind personal technology and getting into personal engagement.   

Some examples of how Northeastern is fostering engagement include events such as high intensity drumming classes, self-defense workshops, and a “budget bites” lesson, where students learn to make (and hopefully not drink) a healthy version of McDonald’s bright purple Grimace shake. And if those people-to-people environments don’t appeal, there is always the chance to hang out with Cooper, Sarge, and Ryder, the three Northeastern Police Department community resource dogs.   

To us, what stands out isn’t just the creativity of these events - it’s the intention behind them. Each one offers a low-pressure, accessible way for students to show up, try something new, and connect with others without the weight of forced socializing.  

Social Connection in the News

If it doesn’t work out here, Ask Ken Jr. can always transfer to a school in Finland, which for the ninth year in a row, has been crowned the world’s happiest country, according to the 2026 World Happiness Report. 

The rankings are based upon a single life evaluation question known as the Cantril Ladder: 

“Please imagine a ladder with steps numbered from 0 at the bottom to 10 at the top. The top of the ladder represents the best possible life for you and the bottom of the ladder represents the worst possible life for you. On which step of the ladder would you say you personally feel you stand at this time?” 

As has been the case for many years, the top of the rankings is dominated by Nordic countries, including Iceland, Denmark, Sweden, and Norway, though for the first time Costa Rica broke the Nordic stranglehold with a fourth-place finish. No English-speaking country cracked the top ten (New Zealand was highest at 11), and the US finished in 23^rd  place, a one position gain from last year. 

The authors of the report ascribe some, but not all, of the challenges in the US to the depressive effect of social media on youth happiness. In North America and Western Europe, youth happiness has declined sharply over the past 15 years, a period that closely mirrors the rise of digital platforms. 

The researchers found that light or moderate use of social media is generally associated with higher life satisfaction, while heavy use correlates with lower wellbeing, increased stress, and higher rates of depression. At the extreme, teens spending more than seven hours a day on social platforms reported significantly lower happiness than those who use it sparingly. 

The impact of social media is dependent on the amount of time, but also on the type of social media service. Platforms that foster direct communication and relationships tend to support (or at least not inhibit) wellbeing, while passive scrolling, algorithmic and influencer-driven content, and comparison-heavy environments are much more likely to erode it. 

Perhaps the most striking piece in the report: many users, particularly young people, say they would prefer a world without social media altogether - yet continue to use it simply because everyone else does. 

Some countries are imagining a social media restricted future. The report notes, with implicit approval, that the Australian government has increased the age limit for ten social media platforms from 13 to 16 and that other countries, including Denmark, France, and Spain, are planning similar regulation. We’ll see what impact that has on youth happiness in the coming years.   

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