September 28, 2026 \ Edition 56

“I love those tattoos” are words that have never escaped my lips, at least until two weeks ago when I approached a heavily-inked couple on the streets of Austin.

I was a little nervous about how they might take this compliment. I don’t have any tattoos myself, nor have the look of someone considering getting one, and I wasn’t sure how it would all come across. But they loved the compliment, and we chatted happily together for a few minutes. They’re from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and had recently visited my hometown of Washington, D.C. They had enjoyed the museums, found the street design confusing (I don’t know how, it’s all in number and alphabetical order) and were keen to discuss whether Pierre L’Enfant’s heavy use of traffic circles would confuse invading infantry.

This was one of the first of many such compliments I would give that day in Austin. Research has shown that compliments are important acts – often fundamental building blocks – in the construction of social relationships and rapport. They are social lubricants, with strangers and friends alike. But many of us are a bit tongue-tied when it comes to offering compliments, thinking, in the words of one researcher, that the recipient will be “bothered, uncomfortable and annoyed.”

It’s a shame, because it turns out that people generally like compliments, even from strangers, and both givers and recipients can get significant social boosts from the exchange. I had a lot more positive conversations that afternoon in Austin, and you can read more details in my piece that ran in USA Today on Sunday.

Read on!